Deidara's Suprise
by Lynnx
Summary: What was Deidara's one time of peace and relaxation turn into when Tobi decides to interfere? Deitobi oneshot.


**Woohoo, time for the beginning notes. Okay, first of all, this isn't supposed to be a yaoi fic. Second of all, this was written from 1:00 AM to 3:00 AM in the morning. (No it didn't take me that long to write it. When it gets that late you tend to space out or spontaneously start to laugh a lot. These kinds of things can hold you back when writing.) **

**In this fic: Deidara will finally reach his gay side, Kisame will have a hard time deciding whether Tobi is a kid or a little man, and Tobi will reach confliction in if he's a good boy or not.**

**Now. Are you thinking pervertedly?**

**If so…-smacku-…Stop it! You've gotta read the fic first!**

**Yay, time for the disclaimers.**

**Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto. Nope. None of it. Not even a single cell that is scraped from a leaf in the Forest of Death. TTTT I always hate writing the disclaimers…**

**Now on with the story!**

**------------------**

Deidara was sitting in the squishy love seat down in the living of the Akatsuki headquarters. He **was **reading the newspaper, until someone had not-so-stealthily slipped their hand into this own and intertwined their fingers. Deidara's eye twitched slightly out of annoyance and he sighed, looking over find out who the hand-violator was, although he had a pretty good idea of who to was.

"What are you doing, you idiot?" Deidara asked, looking ever so vaguely perturbed.

_"Do ya wanna dance and hold my hand?" _Tobi sang happily, holding, in one hand, a microphone, and in the other, Deidara's own hand.

Deidara answered calmly and bluntly. "Do. Not. Want."

Tobi pulled Deidara up off the couch and swung his around. _"Come on, baby! I'm your lover man!"_

Deidara slapped Tobi and crossed his arms. "What are you doing?" he asked again. "And why am I hearing musical instruments? Did you throw Madagra again without telling us?"

"No, Sempai!" Tobi answered cheerfully over the music, beginning to tango with his partner. _"Oh baabyy! Do ya wanna daance?"_

Tobi spun Deidara around twice before holding him down into a dip. Deidara glared at him before Tobi brought him back up into a Cha-Cha-Cha stance, slipping his left hand around Deidara's waist and intertwining his right hand with his (now dancing) partner's left again. He took Deidara out into the middle of the living room, the music still playing loudly.

_"Do ya wanna dance under the moonlight?" _Tobi sang.

"It's still day-time, you idiot," Deidara pointed out.

_"Hold me, baby, all through the night, oh!" _Tobi crooned. He turned Deidara around a few more times and himself once before continuing his song. _"Babyy! Do ya wanna daaaaance?"_

"Uh, no," Deidara broke away from Tobi and start to walk away. Unfortunately for him, he was cut off by the most disturbing slight he'd seen since that last Christmas party.

_"Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya wanna daaaance?" _sang Zetsu, Itachi, and Kisame. All three seemed to be enjoying themselves. _"Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya wanna daaaance?"_

Deidara was gaping at the sight before him. But his space-out was soon broken as those same warm hands grabbed his own and swung him around once again. "Tobi? Did you put saké in their pancakes again?"

"No, Sempai!" Tobi answered again, grinning widely at Deidara from behind his mask.

They made it out into the meeting room and danced around the long table a few times while Tobi sang (with the help from background singers Zetsu, Itachi, and Kisame). _"Do ya, do ya, do ya, do ya wanna daaance?"_

Deidara had to dodge a couple pieces of furniture in the process of their journey. _"Do ya wanna daance under the moonlight?"_

"I already told you, it's not-" Deidara's sentence was interrupted as he looked out the window. It was a full moon, and the brilliantly stars scattered everywhere across the velvety night sky. Before he could really register what he was seeing, Tobi pulled him away for yet another round of dancing and singing. _"Squeeze me, squeeze me, all through the niiight!"_

Deidara slapped Tobi again, **(I now must ask all you readers to please move away from any gutters for your mind's sake. The following predicate is not meant in the way all we perverts hope it would be)** and this time his hand was able to get a taste of the boy. But his didn't stop Tobi. They tangoed all the way out of the headquarters and out into the moonlit grass.

Suddenly, they stopped. Deidara looked around, confused for a moment, before he let his gaze wonder back to Tobi. Wait a minute. Why was he taking off his mask? Deidara's eyes grew wide as he saw the beautiful face that had been hidden behind the mask for as long as he knew Tobi finally be revealed. The brilliant moonlight soon so amazingly on the perfect face that Deidara didn't realized that it was slowly moving towards him until it was nearly one inch from his own face.

"!!!" Deidara drew back slightly and blushed a little. Tobi opened his eyes again and smiled a bit. He looked at Deidara with remarkable ruby eyes that glimmered in the moonlight. He reached up and placed his hand gently on Deidara's cheek.

"Deidara…" he said quietly.

"…Tobi…" Deidara said back in the same tone of voice, smiling a little, although he was still somewhat surprised.

This time they both moved it. Deidara chuckled a little before, finally, his lips made sweet contact with Tobi's smooth ones.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Deidara screamed, sitting up in bed so quickly that he became slightly dizzy. He panted frantically and looked around his room, then under his bed, and finally in his closet, before returning to his bed and sitting down. He felt a cold sweat trickle down the back of his neck. Suddenly, the door slammed open.

"Sempai! Sempai! Are you okay? I heard your scream and-"

Deidara stared at Tobi for a moment before screaming again and chucking everything he had at his partner. "Get away from me, you pervert!!!"

_----The next morning, at the breakfast table…._

"I don't know, Kisame-sama," Tobi said sadly.

"What'd ya do to him?" Kisame asked between bites of his breakfast. "Itachi can make the best pancakes…"

"Nothing as I can recall," Tobi responded, looking over at where Deidara was sitting.

"Man, he doesn't look so good," Kisame pointed out.

"I know. Maybe he had a dream last night with me in it. I wonder if I did something bad to Deidara-Sempai…But that's impossible! Tobi is a good boy!"

"Hm, I dunno, little man. Maybe that's why he's sitting way over at the other end of the table instead of where he usually sits- next to you."

"And glaring threateningly at me all the time?"

"That too."

"…"

"…Oh, don't sweat it, kid! I'm sure it'll pass in no time! It couldn't of been **that **scary…"

**END**

**End Notes: Scared ya thar, didn't I? No? Oh. Yaoi has consumed the fans world….**

**Is that a 'hooray' or a 'oh gawd'?**

**Please review!**


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